What you say after breakfast we skip the lessons and go to the park?" That caught everyone by surprise. There was a nodding of heads all round the table. "Was that a yes?" I said, holding my hands over my ears.
"Yea", even from Mary. After hugs all round the kids went upstairs to wash and change. After getting a hug and a kiss from my beloved wife, I was told with a grin I was spoiling them. What nobody knew was we were going to the orphanage first, then the park. When the kids were cleaned up we went for our little trek.
Kathy waved as we approached. With more than a little fear we watched Tracy physically dragging Alan by the arm to greet their former carer. "Well, hello, you two," she said.
With a drink in one hand and making conversation with the other, Kathy asked us to join her, so we sat down on one of the benches. The kids drank orange juice while the adults had coffee. "Nice to see you again, Kathy. The kids are having a break from lessons today." Mary said.
Alan was pulling at my arm. "Can we go to the park now. Please...."
"Looks like we're going to the park." I said laughing. "Okay, half-pint, we're going." Everyone just chuckled at Alan, including Tracy. We set off for the park, waving to Kathy as we went. As usual, Tracy would go see the ducks and Alan would go sit under his favourite tree. How he knows which tree is which surprises me.
As we got close to the benches, I asked if I could sit down for a minute, with a little sigh he agreed.
"You know, when I was your age, I used to like going to the park and paddling in the lake. I used to chase the ducks till they flew away." What you can only describe as 'in thought', he just stood there moving his eyes up and down as if trying to make a decision. I had a feeling where this was going, so I said, "No, not now! When it gets warmer." His expression was priceless, it said more than words ever could 'How did he know that and why not'?
Before any more could be said, the girls came back asking what we were doing. "Alan wanted to go paddling in the lake so you could feed him bread," I laughed.
"I did not!" He said emphatically.
"You want to go sit under your tree?"
"No, I'm hungry now. Can we get something to eat?"
Kids!! "Did we not feed this bottomless pit this morning?" I asked Mary.
"Aww, Dad." Which got chuckles from everyone.
In town, we went for burger and fries with the traditional milk shake. The kids were chatting away happily while making short work of their meal... 'How do they do it'? "So, what do you two nice children want for Christmas?" I can't really swear what their look said, but I can imagine. Most would have thought it to be a compliment.
"I'm open to suggestions, if it's not too expensive." My smile gave me away. "I want to make our first Christmas together special. So you two think about it, okay?" Walking back to the car, Tracy talked to her mom while Alan appeared to be in deep thought.
It was now the weekend and I couldn't help but wonder what our two little angels had in store for us poor adults. Mary asked Tracy if she wanted to make cookies, which gained a smile. That was one angel less to occupy. "So, little man, what would you like to do?" He didn't have time to reply before the phone rang. After a sad look from Alan, I spoke. "Gordon, hello. Please tell me you have good news?"
"Hello to you, too. I'm sorry for ringing on the weekend. But I asked Dr. Roland, a colleague, to look at your son's case. He wasn't due in till tomorrow, but he caught an earlier flight and he's intrigued, as he puts it, by your son's condition. I still don't know if we can give him his sight back or not, but it's encouraging. So, after saying that, would it be okay if we came to see your son Alan this afternoon?"
"Err yes, that would be great."
"Would 2 o'clock be okay?"
"Yes, yes that would be perfect."
Mary and daughter were just about to put the cookies in the oven when I went into the kitchen. I smiled. It was now 11:30, so that gave me time to explain to Mary and Tracy, but most of all to Alan. Mary was pleased... well, ecstatic might be a better word. She kept Tracy in the kitchen while I took Alan into the living room to talk.
"So, young man, have you thought what you might want to do today?" He shrugged his shoulders, then lazily sat back into the couch. "What about going to the doctors?" I'm not sure I want to describe his look. "I know a Dr. Evans, who's a good man, and I've spoken to him about you." The look was a 'so what,' then a shrug of his shoulders, then quickly sitting back up with looks of 'Ohh'!!
He turned to me with apprehension, worry, and a forced smile. "My eyes?"
"Yes, son, your eyes. I want you to be able to see all there is for you to see." How do you describe or put into words when someone looks at you when you know you can't be seen, but they face you anyway. Inside he/she have butterflies. Their emotions are a mixture of happy and sad. A tear slowly runs down their cheek. They're imagining what you look like. Finally they lean over and nestle into you with looks of contentment and fear. Then looking up at you directly. They are so overwhelmed that someone thought they were worth it. 'Thank you' are the only words they can speak. Then you tell them not to get their hopes up, because being an adult you don't want to hurt your children any more than you have too. Still face to face, he then hugs you with as much force as to become one. The child has a warm feeling inside he can't describe. He now knows it may or may not work, but it's like talking to him and saying someone cares enough for them to try. My heart felt warm as my eyes became moist.
The moment was broken when Tracy came in wanting to know why her brother was crying. I lifted my arm for her to join us. "Your brother is happy," I said, while lightly stroking the top of his head.
Alan turned around and held his sister. "I'm okay, sis, honest." I left them talking and went into the kitchen to Mary. A little while later, Mary called for them to come and get some cookies before I ate them all... that started a stampede.
"So this is Alan," Gordon said as he ruffled his hair. Alan smiled at the attention he received, "So, little fellow, do you know why we're here?" He gave a nod. Mary asked if anyone wanted something to drink. Everyone declined. So Mary joined me and the kids on the couch while Dr Roland walked over to join his colleague. Alan sensing the extra presence turned towards the good doctor. "Alan, this is Dr Roland."
Walking over to where we were seated Dr. Roland greeted Mary, myself, and Tracy. Then Dr Roland looked at Alan and gently took his hand in his own. "This must be Alan. Nice to meet you, young man." Alan gave a smile. "I know this is going to be a little scary, but I promise you it's not going to hurt, however, it can get boring." Getting a forced smile, he continued. "Dr Evans and myself are going to do some tests. We're going to try very hard to get you your sight back." Alan sat in silence as his sister held him close. You could see the apprehension on his face as he was told about the tests they would be doing. After an appointment was arranged, they said their goodbyes. We were certain that at least we were a step closer to the end of Alan's ordeal. You could see Tracy was glad they left, if only to comfort her brother.
The kids were subdued and silent, which was cause for concern, even refusing ice cream. With milk and cookies we went into the front room telling them they had to eat. We spoke to the two lost souls, but only got a nod or their shaking of heads. Both went to bed as quiet as I've ever seen.
The following day I tried to explain to the kids what tests would be done in greater detail. Alan, at least, seemed to take it in his stride. Tracy still seemed concerned for her brother. The day of Alan's appointment arrived, and the kids had to be coaxed into eating something. As any adult will tell you, the unknown can be unsettling, but with children, it can be downright frightening. Taking them into the front room, I sit them both on my lap. "If I promise you that no matter what happens you'll be okay, will you believe me?" Both gave a nod. Mary shouted for everyone to wash up, lunch was nearly ready. "Scoot," I said, as both giggled at being tickled. "You'll be okay."
Dr. Evans came into the waiting room and asked us to follow him into his office. After the usual greetings, he looked over towards Alan. "Are you ready, young man?" He asked.
If I said he was unsure, that would be polite. I went over and picked Alan up, "Didn't I promise you'd be okay?" The hug he gave was slow and deliberate. "You're a brave young man." Tracy, then Mary gave Alan a hug with all the love they had. "We'll be here when you get back."
As he was walking out of the room, he was, as the Brits would say 'Holding a stiff upper lip'. My thoughts turned to worry and concern. Not being a patient doesn't mean it's any less stressful.
After reading numerous women's magazines and medical journals, I asked the receptionist where we could get refreshments. After having drinks and light snacks, we went back to the waiting room. Some 20 minutes later, Dr Evans appeared with Alan who was looking more cheerful. We left Alan and his sister with a Nurse Lee, while Mary and myself were taken into another room. We were seated on a leather couch that adorned the back wall facing the good doctor.
As I was about to speak, Dr. Roland entered the room and took a seat at his desk. He started to speak softly, looking occasionally at Dr. Evans.
"We did visual tests as well as a CT and MRI scans, and can find no physical damage to the eyes, brain damage, or even blood starvation. And I can find no nerve damage, although the optic nerve has some deterioration."
Dr. Roland continued, "After a traumatic event such as the accident Alan and his sister were involved in shock is inevitable. His sister seems to have coped with the event a lot better than her brother. In more cases than we even know about, psychological problems are the cause of certain disabilities rather than medical. The damage to his sight I believe is pseudo-blindness or conversion disorder. In other words, Alan is blind because of fear . . . literally. In circumstances like these the brain protects him by locking away the memories. I am not a psychologist, but I can say that can also be unbeneficial and work against him as well as help him. A psychotherapy evaluation is a start to unlocking the memories and his being able to handle the trauma." Then silence. Shock is an over rated word, but not on this occasion.
"That means hurt for him again." Mary said. I squeezed Mary's hand in agreement.
"I can recommend a Dr. Philips, Jonathan Philips. He practices from Vancouver General. We got acquainted when we went to the other Dr. Evans home. Dr. Evans' ex-wife brought him and his wife to one of Megan's parties. You know his ex-wife, the one 'I still have'." I gave a nod. "I'll give him a call Tuesday. I believe he's at a conference in Toronto right now."
On the way home, the bottomless pit said he was hungry. "I told you he wanted to go into the lake while you fed him bread like the ducks." If looks could kill. We went to McDonalds on New Broadway. Mary and Tracy had the chicken salad. I had the burger and fries, while the bottomless pit had two of what I had. I asked him to tell me what he didn't want - as that would be quicker to order, which earned me a look of disgust. 'Ouch'. With 1 coffee, 1 tea, and 2 milkshakes we found a table in the corner, sat down and had a late dinner.
The kids were asleep before we got home. We carried them indoors and straight to bed. Not a sound came from either as we kissed them goodnight and tucked them in. Myself and my better half went into the living room with a glass of wine and talked about our very long day.
Middle of the week, Dr. Philips rang about setting up a meeting with Alan and myself. I told him that I preferred to meet him personally at his office before any plans were made with regards to him seeing Alan. A meeting was set for Friday at fourteen hundred hours... to the rest of us down-to-earth human beings that's 2:00 p.m.
15 minutes later, I eventually got a word in after the usual greetings. "As you've probably been told, Alan and Tracy are adopted. Both children are just now coming out of their shells. And I've seen two happy children evolve. I know this isn't the normal practise, but any evaluation will have to be done at our home, at least for the time being. He will be more at ease in his own surroundings."
"In certain circumstances I do come to the patient's home. Being his age and the reason I have to evaluate him, it would be better for now to try and keep him as relaxed as possible." Nodding, we spoke in more details about my two angels. To say I was proud of them would be an understatement.
We shook hands with the agreement, at least for the time being, that Alan would have the security of his own home, then I left for the quiet journey home. It seems that when you have kids, you start from the front and work your way back. I laughed out loud - loud and long enough for someone to think I was going crazy. I then wished that the lights would change, fast. Did being crazy come as part of the course... being a parent I mean. 'Oh boy!!'
The weekend was a mixture of can I, will I, or I can't. But we still managed to find something to do that seemed to suit everyone - just about. Sunday, after going to bed I prayed for Monday so I could go to work. And I did so with a smile on my face.
To Be Continued.