Drew's Story

Chapter Five

I'm standing in the lecture hall running on some foolishness with Brian when Tor and Langford come in.

Tor starts in on me immediately. "What the hell are you doing here? You said you were too tired and I had to make excuses to Mrs. Langford for you. Now you're here and all dressed up."

I wink at Langford who has kept my secret. "I have to be here. I'm in the workshop."

"Yeah, sure you are. Like they'd let a freshman take a grad class."

Langford puts his hand on Tor's shoulder. "Torrence, shut up."

He would have kept on, but Joynes comes in with the five judges and raps for order. He talks about the importance of microphotography and photomicrography to scientists and the difficulty of the work. Then one of the judges takes over and comments that one set of prints made his trip worthwhile and he wishes he could hire the man who made them, but for reasons we'll shortly understand he can't. There's a lot of buzzing in the audience about this and Joynes has to bang on his desk to restore order. He starts announcing the evaluations in reverse order.

It's my pal Brian who takes second place, and I couldn't be happier for him. Then Joynes says something about first place and it gets quiet as a graveyard. Oh, hell and damn if he doesn't say, "Torrence."

Tor lets out a squawk and Langford says very distinctly, "I'll be God damned!"

When I try to get up, I get that damned fake leg tangled up in the chair in front of me and fall. Tor just sits there stunned, I guess, because it's Brian who helps me up and gets me started for the front of the room. I'm embarrassed enough already, but everyone is standing and clapping like I'm something special.

Joynes hands me the certificate and has written an 'A' beside the First Place printed on it. He, all the judges, and the president of the university have signed it. After he shakes my hand, he holds onto my arm to keep me from going back to my seat. He looks over the group and says sarcastically, "Let this be a lesson to you, gentlemen. You don't know everything in the world despite your degrees, nor, I hasten to add, do I." He grins at me. "Torrence reminded me of several photographic techniques I haven't used in years and the results are evident in his superb work. This is the first time I've ever permitted an undergraduate in my workshop, and then only as a favor to a colleague. However, I'm so pleased with what Torrence has accomplished that I've sent the dean a formal request that Torrence be given the full graduate credit which he is due. And, on my request, the dean of the school of science is granting him a full scholarship for the remainder of his undergraduate work."

I'm the one in shock now, and the room is in an uproar. I hear the guy from England yelling, "Hear! Hear!" He's the first across the room to shake my hand. It's funny, too, because he's the one who was always making nasty remarks about a kid being in the same class as him. Maybe it's his accent that made his comments sound so nasty. I don't remember his name because it's one of those hyphenated deals. When Tor elbows his way through the crowd and swings me around, hugging me, the English guy says, "I do believe he likes the child."

When Tor snaps back, "He's my brother," I can't help but wonder what they'd think if they knew we're lovers, instead.

Brian almost wrings my hand off. "I'm glad you came in first, Pirate, you deserve it. No way I'd of come anywhere near second if it hadn't been for your help. Chuck school and come to work for me. I'll hire you right now."

"Tor and I work together. Can't split up the team."

"No problem. I'll hire both of you."

"No way." Tor says. "I'm finishing my PhD and if Drew doesn't finish his BS, I'm going to kick his tail."

Brian hands both of us one of his business cards. "Look me up when you finish; I can always use good men." He shakes my hand once more. "If I can ever help you in any way, Pirate, let me know. I'll never forget what you've done for me."

I must have had my hand shaken by everybody there, because it's getting sore from being squeezed so much. As the crowd begins to break up, Langford and Joynes come over.

"Damn it, Tom, I was thinking about killing you for sending me a kid, but I've got to tell you that Drew was a joy to have in the workshop." He looks at me sternly. "I hope I'll have you in more of my classes, young man."

"Thank you, sir. I'm planning to major in photomicrography and minor in marine science."

Joynes lights up. "Wonderful! With most students it's the other way around. I'll have you assigned to me as your advisor. This time I owe you a really big one, Tom."

I'm wiped out by the time we get home, but I'm still too excited to settle down. Tor wraps his arms around me. "You're the best thing ever happened to me, babe. What would I have done if Vince hadn't picked you up?"

I'm too happy to answer. I just snuggle closer to him.

With about three weeks until the fall semester begins, Tor wants to go out to the house so he can help me learn how to swim again. We avoid the university's pool because there are always people around who will gawk at us. This way we can enjoy the privacy.

When Vince comes in from his office, he's wild with excitement. On the front page of the evening paper is a picture of me, with an absolutely stupid look on my face, holding my award. I don't remember anybody taking a picture, but Vince is thrilled. He gives me a big hug and a kiss even before he speaks to Tor.

"I can't believe you took first place in a graduate class among group of experienced men. Having you and Greg succeed so brilliantly reaffirms my faith in my judgement after Tony."

"Where is he?" Tor asks.

"Gone! I can't believe I thought he had potential." Vince smiles ruefully. "In a way he did. The little bastard tried to rip me off, so I sent him packing."

For our whole visit Vince is so pleasant and understanding that Tor stays relaxed and lets him get his kicks which only makes us more frantic when we're alone. We spend our days in swimming, reading for pleasure, and loafing around.

"Pretty good holiday, wasn't it?" I ask Tor on the way back home.

"Not bad. I guess Vince is straightening out. I got a chance to talk to him about some things, so I think he understands about us better."

"Then you're not still mad at him?"

"If you think I'm going to forgive him for what he did to you, forget it. Let's say he's got a reprieve as long as he behaves."

I had hopes, but hearing Tor say this I know that sooner or later Vince is going to pay. Whatever he's got in mind, I hope Tor doesn't get in trouble. I'll stick with him through anything, but if he got sent to jail and I was left alone, it would kill me."

My classes this semester are tougher, so I have to put in the work, and Tor's getting deeper into his own studies. When he starts writing a paper for Langford's class, I get double duty because I type his papers and he wants several photomicrographs to go with it as well. When I ask Dr. Joynes about access to a microscope, he immediately gives me free run of his lab. I'm embarrassed when he tells me it's the least he can do for his star pupil. He even asks me to substitute for him in a class he was going to cancel because he has to be out. It's a freshman class I've already taken, so with Joynes' lecture notes, I know I can handle it.

We go to Vince's for Christmas vacation. It started out well enough, but New Year's turns into a disaster. Vince gets drunk and goes insane, there's no way Tor and I can reason with him. After Tor knocks him out, we help John get him in bed, then get our stuff and split.

When Tor takes a break for a cup of coffee one evening, I pick up one of his books, Marine Toxicology.

"What's this?"

"Study of poisonous sea life." His answer is short.

"I didn't know they had a course in that."

"It's elective, but I might need it."

"Must be hard if you've got to have seven references books. No way I'd take that if I didn't have to."

"It's not that bad."

The text is open to a chapter headed: Poisonous Sea Life of the East Coast. "Are there really fish that can kill somebody? I mean without attacking them like sharks."

"A few. The most dangerous isn't an actual fish, but an aquatic snake found off the barrier reef of Australia. The toxins of most poisonous fish have to be ingested. Why are you asking?"

"No reason. I was just wondering why you were putting so much time on it."

Tor gives me a scary look. "Sometimes it's better if you don't know everything about me, babe. Now let me get back to work."

After what happened over the holiday, I'm surprised that Vince hasn't given up on us and found somebody else, but he continues to pay our tuition and bills and even comes to the apartment one afternoon and begs us to come out to the house on weekends we don't have to study. Tor finally relents, and we actually enjoy several weekends out there.

When we go during the spring break, Vince looks terrible and he moves slowly and painfully. It seems that some fool accidentally hit him with a car. Vince says that except for a lot of bad bruises and being sore he should be okay. But hurt or not, that night he comes on to us heavier than ever before. It's all I can do to keep Tor from slugging him. He follows Vince to his room and I hear him yell, "You are going to take care of him, you sonuvabitch, or I'm letting everybody know how you made the poor kid lose his leg!"

I hear a sound like crying and Tor's yelling again, "Try me and see!"

Tor's still shaking with anger when he comes back to our room. I know better than to ask him any questions, so I get him in bed and rub his back until he goes to sleep.

After Vince has gone for his doctor's appointment the next morning, Tor gives me a smile I don't like. "Tonight's the night, babe," he whispers. I shiver. When he whispers like that, it's dangerous for somebody.

We go down to the darkroom and go through the files of negatives, pulling all the ones of him and me. When he's not looking, I put a couple of them in my pocket. They're of Tor just as I like to see him, but I can never get him to pose for me. Vince must have made them at the beach, because Tor's got on a pair of Speedo trunks smaller than any I've ever seen. They're more revealing than if he'd been nude, but there he is with a great tan, a big grin, and his hair is sun-bleached white. The other is the negative of the print Vince has in his room. I don't care if Vince does get his jollies looking at it, I like looking at it too. No way I'll give up shots like these.

Once Tor's satisfied that we've found all the pictures and negatives of us, we gather them up and carry them out to the incinerator and dump them in, then push the button. The gas flames whoosh and I know that nobody other than Tor will own me again. I feel so relieved I hug him, but he's not finished yet. "Tonight," he whispers again.

We both have on old Bermuda shorts and I'm using the peg. Tor has taken off the hook. You've seen tough guys make a fist with one hand and smack it into the other. That's what he's doing as he leaves our room, smacking the palm of his hand against the end of his arm. It chills me to watch.

He comes back with Vince. One look and Vince runs to me. "Oh, my precious, it's been so long. Let me look at you." He gives me a kiss and backs off to look, then he's hugging me, letting his hand wander down my stump. When he starts to fumble with the straps, I get a horrible feeling it's going to be like cutting my leg off all over again, only this time I'll feel the knife. I open my mouth to scream, but Tor's behind me, his arms going under mine to hold me up.

"Easy, baby, I'll do it." When I feel his big callused hand tug at the straps, it's all right. Vince is slumped back in a chair. He cries out when the peg drops to the floor. Tor helps me hop to a chair and sinks down in it, pulling me down on his lap. Vince is in front of us in a flash and we give him what he wants.

It's over and Vince is pulling his robe around him almost before we know it. Tor's hand darts down behind the cushion of the chair in which we're sitting and comes up holding a small pistol he's got aimed at Vince.

"Have you lost your mind, Greg?" Vince asks, his eyes icy.

"Sit down and shut up, Vince."

I think for a moment Vince is going to refuse, but I see a muscle move in Tor's arm, so I know his finger has tightened on the trigger. Vince must have seen it, too, because he sits back down on the ottoman. Tor shifts me a little so the end of his arm is pointed at what's left of my leg. His voice has gone cold and quiet.

"See that, Vince? It's what you wanted, isn't it? Pretending wasn't enough for you, was it? Oh, no. Even my arm wasn't enough to satisfy you. You had to have the real thing. You had to hurt a sweet innocent kid."

Vince can't quite bring himself to look at my stump and I can smell the fear on him like sweat.

Tor flings his arm back as if to take a swing at Vince's head. "Look at it, you sonuvabitch! Don't tell me you're afraid to look at a child you deliberately crippled."

Vince drops his eyes. His hand inches out and touches my stump on the end. Just a touch and he jerks it back like I was fire.

"I didn't. I swear I didn't." His voice trembles.

"Bullshit! If it was an accident like you claim, why didn't you sue the railroad on Drew's behalf? You know why. You didn't have a case. I checked with the lawyer for the railroad and they weren't even aware of what happened. Try and deny it, you bastard."

Vince sits there staring at the floor, his face white, shaking more than I knew a person could. Nobody should be as cruel as Tor's being, but knowing now that Vince really caused me to lose my leg, I can't feel more than a vague sympathy for him.

Tor pushes me up so I'm standing with his arms supporting me, the pistol still pointed at Vince.

"Love it, you bastard."

Vince cringes away from me, but Tor waves the pistol at him. "I said 'love it.'"

Vince's hand is shaking, but he manages to touch the end of my stump again. He starts to cry.

"Kiss it," Tor yells.

Vince starts to lean closer, but jerks back, his hands clutching at his chest. His eyes look as if they're going to pop out of his head. He gurgles and falls to the floor.

"Vince!" Forgetting, I start toward him, falling myself. I crawl to his side. Tor's bending over him, his fingers on Vince's throat. He looks at me and shakes his head. He picks me up and helps me dress, then he dresses. "Help me, babe. We've got to get him to his bed."

Vince is heavier than I thought, but after we've got him in his bed, Tor runs out in the hall and yells for John to call Vince's doctor. He runs back in Vince's room and strips the photographs of me and him from the wall and tells me to carry them down to the incinerator. I pass poor John running up the stairs.

After checking Vince, the doctor shakes his head and asks us several questions that Tor answers.

"I was afraid of that," he says. "I told Vince not to get excited or move too quickly. He apparently died from a blood clot breaking loose and moving to his lungs. I'll be sure after the autopsy, however."

It's way past midnight when Tor and I finally get to our bed. "Would you have really killed Vince, Tor?"

It's quite a while before he answers me. "I don't know, Drew. I was prepared to if this hadn't happened. I've never hated anybody as much as I hated him."

"Why? You said you were happy when you first came here."

"I thought I was, because I'd never had much until I met Vince. It was the way he treated you made me realize I hated him. It wasn't bad for me because I hadn't had my arm for years and he got the hand and hook for me. But when he started that pretending with you, I should have known he would wind up hurting you somehow. Damn it, it's my fault."

"No way. You weren't even here."

"I knew he had a sadistic streak and I didn't think to warn you. It never really bothered him to hurt people and I knew it, but it didn't happen much, so I forgot." He pulls me to him in a hug. "It's over, baby, forget it. There's just you and me now. I'll never let anybody hurt you again."

Tor wakes me early and we start packing all the stuff we've got left. Fortunately, most of the big stuff like the stereo and books we've already carried to our apartment a bit at a time. When we've carried the little that's left down to the Triumph, we take a last look at our room. My camera equipment is on the desk. I planned on leaving it all, but Tor picks the bag up and hands it to me.

"Take this, babe. You've already paid too much for it."

John calls us to breakfast. "What's John going to do, now?" I ask after he's left the room.

"I expect he'll retire. Vince has provisions for all the servants in his will, unless he changed his mind. We've got a little, too." He takes a big roll of bills from his pocket. "It's twenty thousand Vince kept in his safe for emergencies."

"Won't somebody wonder where it went?"

"No way. I'm the only one who knows about it. He gave me the combination to the safe in the library and told me to take it if I ever needed it. Well we need it now for our education. We'll see how far it goes and after that," he shrugs and puts the money back in his pocket, "we'll just have to see."

When we go out to the Triumph to leave, John comes out to see us off. Tor holds out his hand to the old man. "Thanks for all you've done for Drew and me, John."

John has tears in his eyes. "I wish I could of done more, Mr. Gregory, and 'specially for you Mr. Andrew. You young men ain't like any of the others, no, sir. You're real gentlemen." He shakes hands with us and says, "I wish you both the best."

Back at home, it still seems unreal that so much has happened in just a couple of days, even though I manage to get Tor to go with me to the memorial service for Vince.

While I'm studying a few afternoons later, there's a knock at the door. When I open it, a kid wearing a messenger service cap is standing there holding a couple of envelopes.

"Gregory Torrence?" He asks.

"He's not in. I'm his brother."

"You by any chance Andrew Halloran?"

"Yeah."

"You got one too." He holds them out.

I reach for them, but he makes me sign his pad first. I prop Tor's letter on his books and rip mine open. It appears we're supposed to be present at a lawyer's office for the reading of Vince's will.

When Tor comes in, I point to it. "That came for you. I got one, too."

He rips it open and reads the few lines, looking kind of grim.

"How come we got to be there?"

He shrugs. "I guess we'll find out."

I'm surprised to see John already sitting in the lawyer's office when we get there. He introduces me to the woman seated next to him as his wife and she speaks to Tor like she's always known him. When we sit down, Tor whispers to me that she was the cook. I guess I figured that John did everything since I never saw any of the other servants at the house.

A prissy looking man in a three-piece suit takes a seat behind the desk and looks at us over his half-glasses. "I assume that everyone concerned is here." He looks at John and his wife. "You are John and Martha Williams," then he looks at Tor and me, "and you are Gregory Torrence and Andrew Halloran.

"We are here to read the last will and testament of . . . " He stops as someone walks in and takes a chair behind us. "I'm pleased that you decided to come after all, Mrs. Farnsworth."

When I turn to look at her, my heart jumps up in my throat. She looks so much like Vince I'm convinced it's him come back in drag. Her eyes bore holes in Tor and me.

The lawyer goes on. "As I was about to say, the will of Stephen Vincent Malloy which is very brief.

'To John and Martha Williams I leave the house and the lot which it occupies and direct that they begin to receive that sum set aside for their retirement. As a bonus for their devoted service, I also leave them the sum of ten thousand dollars each.

'To Gregory Torrence I leave new computer in my study and the sum of fifty thousand dollars to be used to complete his education.

'To Andrew Halloran as recompense for his injury, I leave the sum of one hundred thousand dollars to complete his education. In addition, he is to receive all of my photographic equipment as a base on which to build a career.

'The remainder of my estate, both real and personal, patents, royalties, and business assets I leave to my sister Patricia Malloy Farnsworth.'"

Tor and I look at each other. Neither of us knew Vince had a sister, for he had never mentioned her. The lawyer hands each of us a copy of the will and wishes us a good day.

While we're waiting for the elevator, Vince's sister gives us looks that would kill. "I hope you consider yourselves amply repaid for your favors. Oh, yes, I knew about Vince's affairs with boys, that's why you never saw me. I refused to enter the house as long as he kept boys there. Now that it's over, I want you to get whatever he left you out of the house immediately and I wish never to lay eyes on you again." She keeps her back to us all the way down in the elevator and walks away without another word.

John lets us in the house that afternoon. Upstairs I can see he's already stripped all the photographs from the wall of Vince's room. He helps Tor and me take the computer equipment and the stuff from the darkroom to the small U-Haul truck we rented for the trip. Luckily there's a lockable storage room in the cellar of our building that goes with our apartment. Only when we're in bed that night talking about it does it dawn on me that I'm rich.

Tor shakes his head when I mention it. "No way, babe. I'm putting all of the money in short-term high yield investments. We'll take what we need for school and all, but we're not spending any more of the principal than we have to. The way I figure it, the dividends and interest will cover a lot of our expenses if we're careful. After school, we're going to need what's left as a backlog to carry us until we find jobs."

Without anything to worry about but ourselves, Tor drives himself and me the last year of school. I'm not having any difficulty since the courses I'm taking, other than those with Joynes, are the same ones Tor's already taken, so he gives me help when I need it. But I sometimes think Joynes gives me twice as much to do as he does the others in his classes. Keeping up with my books, photo assignments, and labs is about all I can do, but he's also gotten in the habit of making me take his classes if he wants to be out for some reason. Added to all this, Tor occasionally asks me for a photomicrograph to go with his dissertation, which I'm also typing. I stay so busy that I hardly have time to miss him when he's out on the research vessel.

I get a break on exams. When I tell Joynes that I'm sweating the ones in the two classes I have under him, he roars with laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"You. You didn't seriously think you'd have to take my exams after I left you to teach for me, did you?"

"Damn right, I did. Everybody knows you don't give exemptions."

"There's a first time for everything, Drew. Anybody who can pass one of my graduate workshops while still a freshman doesn't have a thing to prove to me. Spend your time on your other exams. Oh, yes, you're going to give my exam to the micro class. Come in early. I'll have everything set up in the lab for you."

I'm in shock when I leave his office. That's two exams I can forget, and I'm certain of exempting two more, so there's only one I'll have to sweat. He told me the reason I'm giving his micro exam is that he's on the committee to hear Tor defend his dissertation, which takes place at the same hour as the exam.

The evening before Tor goes before the committee, I hide his books and notes. He's got to relax or he'll blow it. He raises hell with me, but I make him dress and we go out for dinner and take in a movie. It's one of those under-sea things and Tor growls sarcastic comments about it being fake all the way through. Though the photography is excellent, I'm surprised at how easily I can tell which shots were made with miniatures in a tank. When we get back home, I fix him a strong drink and rub his back until he finally goes to sleep.

The people in the micro class didn't expect to see me behind the desk, but they're a pretty straight bunch. Only one big jock gives me any trouble.

"Where's Dr. Joynes?"

"He'll be in later. Sit down and we'll get started."

"A fruity kid like you ain't telling me to sit down," he growls.

Makes me wonder what he knows, but I can tell the others are getting disgusted. One of the other guys yells at him to sit down and shut up so they can get it over with.

I know time flies when you're busy, but I find out how slow it moves when there's nothing to do but watch them sweat. It's better in the lab because I can move around. I get asked about a set-up a couple of times. I'd like to help them, because the two who asked are going about it backwards and when they find out it will be too late to start over. However, Joynes was very specific that I should offer no advice.

When the bell rings, I collect their papers and exposed film and take them to Joynes' office. He comes in while I'm putting it all in his briefcase.

"Everybody show up, Drew?"

"Yes, sir. No problems. How'd Tor do?"

He winks at me. "You know better than to ask me that. Between you and me, he could have learned some things from you."

"I doubt that. We're in different fields."

"But closely related. I hope the two of you stick together. Torrence is going to need your photographic skills in his work. He can write, but he's not worth a damn at photography or drawing."

"I don't think we're likely to break up any time soon."

When I get home, Tor's lying on the sofa, his arm across his eyes. He's pale and shaking.

"What's wrong?"

"I blew it, baby. I know I did."

"Not with the way you studied, and your dissertation was accepted. You're just worn out."

"It was hell, Drew." He tries to smile at me, without success.

For a while I hit the books for the exam I have tomorrow, then we get to bed.

My exam went okay, but Tor still can't talk when I get home. I wish there was something I could do, but we both pace the floor. It's the uncertainty of it all. The next day is the same until the postman drops an envelope through the mail slot in our door.

Tor snatches it up, then stands there with it in his hand. At last he holds it out to me. "Open it, baby, I can't." He goes to the window and stands looking out while I rip the envelope open and pull out a slip of paper. It has only Tor's name and Pass - Fail on it. There's a circle around Pass. I'm praying it means what I think. I hold it out to Tor, then hug him. "I love you, Doctor Torrence."

Tor looks at it and gives me another of his back breaking hugs.

Graduation day I'm standing in line, too. Tor is way back of me. I wish we could walk in together, but once this is over it won't make any difference. I didn't do as well as Tor, for I only manage a magna cum laud, but when my diploma's in my hand, I don't care. I did it for Tor. The six doctorial candidates are standing on stage. Tor looks wonderful with the bright hood hanging down his back, the three black plush bands across the sleeve of his left arm. I'm damn proud of him, and I get my photo of him in his robe, too.